Thoughts on the condolence letter

Genuine, specific, timely emotional support of caregivers at the time of euthanasia is an important part of the veterinary professional obligation. Such support helps ease client pain during the grieving process. However, caution and sensitivity are essential when assessing and responding to caregiver-companion animal relationships.(1) For example, some caregivers are highly bonded but conceal their emotions, so our perceptions and responses must be thoughtful and discerning. My veterinary technician and I are supportive of our clients during euthanasia. I later write the condolence letter according to our perceptions of that particular human-companion animal bond. The only exceptions to our attempt to be thoroughly supportive at the time of euthanasia are those instances when we perceive that there has been obvious and willful abuse or neglect. At such times, we try to maintain emotional neutrality. The condolence letter and its variations described here are intended to serve as a guide. We send the condolence letter to caregivers within 24 hours of euthanasia, and it is addressed to the entire family. In addition, a euthanasia packet is provided at the time of euthanasia. The packet includes 2 brochures on coping with the loss of a companion animal, (2,3) contact information for a pet loss support hotline and a pet loss support group, an essay and a poem about the death of a companion animal, and a how-to article on dealing with children and their emotions on the loss of a pet. (4) My veterinary technician almost always phones the caregiver 1 to 3 days after euthanasia of their companion animal. The timing of the call depends on the circumstances of death and our judgment as to the emotional needs of the caregiver and family. Where emotions around euthanasia and loss are especially deep, the follow-up call may be made as early as that night or the next morning, with a second call 2 to 3 days later. The nature of the conversation depends on the technician's perception of the caregiver's needs. A condolence letter should reflect the needs and values of the individual veterinarian. For example, McElyea includes a brief history or profile of the animal and a reminder that death was easy and without suffering. (5) Others may wish to send a separate condolence to a child who seems especially affected by the death and loss of their special friend. I hope this article will encourage colleagues to hand-write condolence letters that reflect positive personal thoughts and feelings about the patient, the client, and the circumstances of the loss.