Truth, lies, and intimacy: an attachment perspective

This paper outlines some of the ways in which secure attachment is associated with the capacity to participate in successful intimate relationships. The paper begins with the discussion of four key abilities required for intimacy: the ability to seek care, the ability to give care, the ability to feel comfortable with an autonomous self, and the ability to negotiate. Bowlby's attachment theory (1969/1982, 1973, 1980) and related research are presented as a framework for understanding the development of these abilities. Next, attachment, intimacy, and sexuality are discussed. In the final section, attachment, intimacy, and truth are considered.