On a personal note: a music therapist's reflections on working with those who are living with a terminal illness

Music therapists are constantly called upon to justify their work through research projects and evaluation processes. Rarely do we get the opportunity to talk personally about our work, the effects it has on us as music therapists, indeed, as human beings. This paper traces my own journey as a music therapist working with the terminally ill. Using audio extracts of music improvised with patients at the end of their lives, the concept of "attention" in music is addressed and explored. The paper will investigate: a) What is the difference between the quality of attention that is available to ourselves and our patients "in" music, as opposed to other ways of being together?; b) What does musical experience, particularly when achieved through improvisation, enable us and our patients to be that we cannot achieve in other ways?; c) Can "being in music" with another person fulfill a sense of longing that is evident in people at the end of their lives? In her book Waiting For God, Simone Weil suggests, "Those who are unhappy have no need for anything else in this world other than people capable of giving them their attention..." (1). Can the improvisation of music offer a unique and uncomplicated medium for being close?