Grieving men: thoughts, feelings, and behaviors following deaths of wives

Despite the growing body of literature on bereavement, grief, and mourning, little attention has been given to the impact of bereavement on men. This is particularly true for studies on the impact of death of spouse on the survivor. Using in-depth interviews, we explored the thoughts, feelings, and behaviors of twenty men following the deaths of their wives. The findings do not support prevailing assumptions that men are less likely to be emotionally involved in the conjugal relationship and, thus, less likely to grieve than women; or, if emotionally involved, less likely to experience grief. This research suggests that men may be emotionally involved in the conjugal relationship and that the death of a wife may evoke intense feelings. The majority of the men in this study both hurt and knew they hurt. What they did not do was to reach out to others for help. This finding has important implications for bereavement program development.