To have and to hold: on the experience of having an other

This paper reconsiders familiar concepts (such as internalization, object representation, and object constancy) in light of the notion of having, in order to facilitate creative thinking about how patients are or are not capable of experiencing analysts-and how analysts allow them to do so. The meaning of Other-having is examined from both a theoretical and a subjective point of view. The author suggests that the sense of having an Other results from positive real experiences, and that the ability to have an Other is the sine qua non, the building block, of all mental functions that require empathy.