[Conflict and counter-conflict--unconscious aspects in a cultural context]

Quarrel is considered to be a social form not only an affective relationship. Following the sociologist Georg Simmel the thesis is presented that quarrel does not destruct social order but constructs. Quarrel is a social form in the antagonism between family and culture. Described are characteristic courses of quarrels as well as unconscious strategies which are illustrated by family therapeutic examples. My contribution ends with the remark in the theory of culture about the connection between quarrel, the tragedy of individualization and the introversion of guilt. I propose not to avoid quarrels, but to cultivize them.