Perinatal loss. A critique of current hospital practices

Dramatic improvements in the hospital management of perinatal loss have taken place in the past 20 years. However, there has been no critical examination of current approaches. Four possible hazards of current hospital practice are described: 1) Institutionalization of bereavement: Instead of offering parents an empathic awareness of the unique dimensions of their perinatal loss, caregivers often interact according to detailed behavioral protocols. 2) Idealization of contact with the dead baby: This approach may equate actual physical contact with the dead child with the more complicated and variable process of mourning. 3) Homogenization of grief: Counselors tend to denigrate different grief responses by focusing on a preconceived grief reaction. Thus, they may mistakenly label many such reactions pathologic if they deviate from the rigidly prescribed "norm." 4) Lecturing the bereaved: Telling parents the "right" thing to do may deprive them of a crucial aspect of the process that empowers parents after they experience the helplessness associated with perinatal loss--that of making their own decisions. These problems are illustrated by a clinical vignette, and alternative approaches are explored.