Finding better solutions to end bullying: what an organizalion can do

In order to stop bullying we must recognize and assess the problem, discuss it, educate and train employees, and create zero tolerance policies and formal/informal complaint processes, ensuring that they are fair and safe for the person making a complaint. This series of articles has touched on the very real issue of bullying in our workplaces and among our professional peers in midwifery. My personal goal for this series was to find the essence of the lesson in bullying and how it can become a positive subject. Once it has been "named" and discussed and organizations try to change the tide and individuals find their strength to confront abuse, the transformations in the organizations and the individual can be earth healing. Colin C. Tipping, the author of Radical Forgiveness, writes, "The extent to which we respond to other people's actions with a sense of righteous indignation, grievance, revenge and resentment, rather than with a genuine desire to balance the scales with regard to principles of fairness, freedom and respect for others, determines our level of forgiveness. Righteousness and revenge lower our vibration. Conversely, defense of principles and acting with integrity raises our vibration... we should seek to make others accountable for their actions... I am often asked whether, in a situation where someone has done us harm and where the normal reaction would be to seek redress through the courts, a forgiving person would actually take that course of action? The answer is, "Yes". Early on we learn that our actions have consequences... When I do intervene however, I do it free of judgment and the need to blame anyone. I just do it, knowing that the Universe set the whole thing up for a reason and that there is a perfection in there somewhere... we do not have to like the person to forgive them. Neither do we have to stay in their company if their personality and/or behavior is toxic to us". This can be a plausible answer to a positive, peaceful and personal solution without excusing or accepting the violent behavior of the bully. A bully should be held accountable but the target needs to set herself free from victimhood by finding a forgiveness that will release the experience. Once the dust has cleared and the necessary changes are made in our workplaces, once we have "dignity at work" and teachers are shepherding their students with grace and kindness, the cycle of violence in our health care systems will be challenged. I suggest that at the end, we look toward "radical" change within our policies, our professional interactions and our own hearts. As we heal from the actions of a bullying culture, we change the culture one individual at a time. Applying Tipping's steps for radical forgiveness as a model, we need to acknowledge our role in painful circumstances without guilt or judging ourselves, accept our imperfections so that we are more aware of our own feelings and body, be willing to see how perfect certain situations can be in our own growth and healing and, finally, to chose the power of peace by being fully aware in our decision-making.