"I actually don't know who I am": the impact of bipolar disorder on the development of self

The majority of patients with bipolar disorder have onset prior to twenty years with early onset associated with increased impairment. Despite this, little attention has been given to the psychosocial developmental impact of this disorder. This qualitative study explored the impact of having bipolar disorder on the development of a sense of self and identity. Key findings from this qualitative study identified that for these participants, bipolar disorder had a significant impact in the area of self and identity development. Bipolar disorder created experiences of confusion, contradiction, and self doubt which made it difficult for these participants to establish continuity in their sense of self. Their lives were characterized by disruption and discontinuity and by external definitions of self based on their illness. Developing a more integrated self and identity was deemed possible through self-acceptance and incorporating different aspects of themselves. These findings would suggest that it is critical to view bipolar disorder within a psychosocial developmental framework and consider the impact on the development of self and identity. A focus on the specific areas of impact and targeting interventions that facilitate acceptance and integration thus promoting self and identity development would be recommended.