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What do you think is the single most influential factor in determining with whom you become friends and whom you form romantic relationships? You might be surprised to learn that the answer is simple: the people with whom you have the most contact. This most important factor is proximity. You are more likely to be friends with people you have regular contact with. For example, there are decades of research that shows that you are more likely to become friends with people who live in your dorm,...
Self-Discrepancy Theory
One influential perspective on what motivates people's behavior is detailed in Tory Higgin's self-discrepancy theory (Higgins, 1987). He proposed that people hold disagreeing internal representations of themselves that lead to different emotional states.
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The Sense of Self: Reflected Self-Appraisal and Social Comparison
According to Charles Cooley, we base our image on what we think other people see (Cooley 1902). We imagine how we must appear to others, then react to this speculation. We don certain clothes, prepare our hair in a particular manner, wear makeup, use cologne, and the like—all with the notion that our presentation of ourselves is going to affect how others perceive us. We expect a certain reaction, and, if lucky, we get the one we desire and feel good about it. But more than that, Cooley...
Desirable Characteristics in Others
Various factors, including the type of relationship, gender, and duration of the relationship, influence the perception of desirable characteristics in others. While certain traits such as trustworthiness, cooperativeness, agreeableness, and extraversion are universally valued across all relationships, other characteristics are context-dependent and gain prominence based on specific relational dynamics.Universal and Context-Dependent TraitsTrustworthiness and cooperativeness are fundamental...
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The similarity hypothesis suggests that individuals are more likely to form relationships with others who share similar attitudes, beliefs, values, and interests. This concept has been widely studied in social psychology, demonstrating that perceived similarity fosters interpersonal attraction. In an experiment supporting this hypothesis, participants were presented with fabricated information indicating that strangers held attitudes similar to their own. The results showed that participants...
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