Sex differences in approaching friends with benefits relationships
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Updated: Jun 14, 2026

Observation and Quantification of Mating Behavior in the Pinewood Nematode, Bursaphelenchus xylophilus
Published on: December 25, 2016
Justin J Lehmiller1, Laura E VanderDrift, Janice R Kelly
1Department of Psychology, Colorado State University, Fort Collins, CO 80523-1876, USA. justin.lehmiller@colostate.edu
Abstract:
This research explored differences in how men and women approach "friends with benefits" (FWB) relationships. Specifically, this study examined sex differences in reasons for beginning such involvements, commitment to the friendship versus sexual aspects of the relationship, and partners'; anticipated hopes for the future. To do so, an Internet sample of individuals currently involved in FWB relationships was recruited. Results indicated many overall similarities in terms of how the sexes approach FWB relationships, but several important differences emerged. For example, sex was a more common motivation for men to begin such relationships, whereas emotional connection was a more common motivation for women. In addition, men were more likely to hope that the relationship stays the same over time, whereas women expressed more desire for change into either a full-fledged romance or a basic friendship. Unexpectedly, both men and women were more committed to the friendship than to the sexual aspect of the relationship. Although some additional similarities appeared, the findings were largely consistent with the notion that traditional gender role expectations and the sexual double standard may influence how men and women approach FWB relationships.
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