Helping patients going through separation and divorce

The family doctor plays a very important role in the life of the patient who is going through separation or divorce. Separation is a form of mourning. People go through the stages of grief, including surprise, anger, depression, and acceptance. The physician must anticipate a wide range of emotions including disbelief and shock, anger, fear, uncertainty and depression. `Involved neutrality' is his most useful stance. It allows him to be inquiring, solicitous and concerned but to refrain from giving direct advice or from trying to slant the outcome of counselling sessions. Worthwhile intervention goals include promoting reconciliation; offering a forum in which couples can be sure that they understand where each stands and what each wants; assessing the need for individual therapy, and smoothing separation by providing a forum in which the couple focuses upon matter-of-fact arrangements. This can save the couple and their children anguish, and ultimately save them money by decreasing litigation. The physician can also advise separating parents to reassure their children they have a continuing commitment to parenting.