Supporting children's grief within an adult and pediatric palliative care program

"What about the kids?" is a dominant and consuming question for caregivers supporting children/youth around the dying and death of a family member. The concerns and fears encompassed in this question can overwhelm caregivers as they put vast amounts of energy into trying to protect children/youth from the suffering and pain that awaits them. Perhaps the hardest lesson these caregivers must learn is that they cannot protect their child/youth from the death any more than they can stop the death from happening. Instead, what is needed most from children/youth is to be included, prepared, and provided with a safe place for emotional expression. Children, as well as adults, will grieve in their own specific way, mediated by their developmental level, circumstances of the illness and death, and protective factors available to them. Providing comprehensive, whole-person care to palliative patients with children/youth in their care ought to include psychoeducation and support for all members of the family. Our communities' bereaved children/youth will be impacted by the death of their family members in countless ways throughout their lives. As professionals caring for people who are dying, we have a responsibility to mediate this impact to the best of our ability.