Finally, it became too much - experiences and reflections in the aftermath of attempted suicide

The purpose of the study was to explore the experiences of persons after suicidal crises or recently completed suicide attempts. The research question was 'What thoughts do suicidal patients have about the crises they have experienced?' Hermeneutic approach, inspired by Gadamer, has characterized the process of collection, analysis and interpretation of data. Data were collected using qualitative research interviews. Ten participants, six men, 25-52 years old, and four women, 21-45 years old, were informed and requested by specialists in psychology at emergency or subemergency psychiatric wards or by crisis resolution teams. Nine of the participants had experienced one or more suicide attempts. One person had been prevented in the attempt, by hospitalization in an emergency ward. This type of research requires sensitivity in the interview situation, where ethical responsibilities take precedence over research interests. Results obtained through a thematic analysis of six phases revealed five themes to be central: (i) Losing touch with the world, (ii) Relationship between the suicidal accident and life history, (iii) Struggling for death and life (iv) An open door as consolation and (v) Feeling shame and guilt. Being suicidal seems like a struggle in solitude, between longing to escape from suffering through death and longing for love, safety and dignity in life. Suicidal accidents happen when suffering becomes intolerable. Suicide rarely occurs without a struggle and consideration of moral conflicts. The thought of suicide can provide consolation and comfort to go on living. Shame seems to appear when a person cannot cope with her/his own life, and because of failed attempts, while guilt seems related to hurting other people.