Emotional congruence within couple interaction: the role of attachment avoidance

Attachment strategies refer to the conscious representations individuals make of their relationships, including the level of perceived comfort and safety that relationships offer during distressing times. From early in life, some individuals learn the coping strategy of attachment avoidance. When distressed, these individuals shut down emotionally and seek to mask what they are feeling. This represents incongruence between emotional experience and expression. Yet congruence is an important part of interpersonal relationships. In addition, incongruence has been identified as a core aspect of repressive coping, about which research has identified several potential long-term health risks. In this study, we examined the relationship between attachment avoidance and congruence between what individuals experience physiologically and what they report. A total of 63 couples completed the Experiences in Close Relationships Scale (ECR; Brennan, Clark, & Shaver, 1998) and participated in a seminatural couple interaction and an interaction with a therapist/coach. Using dyadic data analysis and multilevel modeling, we found that, while avoidance was not associated with elevated skin conductance, it was indeed associated with greater incongruence between skin conductance and reports of feelings toward one's partner. Whereas individuals lower in attachment avoidance were likely to report more negative feelings toward their partners in the context of psychophysiological distress, those higher in attachment avoidance were more likely to report positive feelings toward their partners. We discuss implications of this incongruence and its potential to adversely influence individual and relationship health. We also discuss some important clinical considerations when working to increase emotional congruence.