Fathers and grieving: coping with infant death

As we have listened to parents who have come to our parent support group during the past 10 years, we have become increasingly aware of the differences in the way fathers and mothers grieve. These differences can lead to misunderstanding and to further hurt and confusion for both parents who are grieving the loss of an infant. Role expectations seem to account for many of these differences. Fathers' responses to infant loss tend to coincide with how they believe they should act as men, rather than how they need to act to confront and resolve grief. We conducted a pilot study of parents' experiences following infant death, and sought more detailed insight from several fathers into their experiences. In this article, we explore some of the differences in the way fathers and mothers grieve and the constraints men experience in resolving grief because of their role expectations.