Through the eyes of child: reflections on my mother's death from cancer

Before being exposed to palliative care, I had lived through 15 years of emotional suffering, beginning with my mother's relapse of leukemia. My mother died 12 years ago; however, the suffering did not end there. Palliative care helped me find meaning and purpose in my suffering. During her illness I received no explanations about what was happening to my mother, and I felt utter emotional loneliness. I received no help in coping with the uncertainties of my mother's life with cancer or of her dying process. The experience left me sad and angry. Sheltering a child from truth does not lessen fear or alleviate pain; it only causes feelings of confusion, anger, embarrassment, and shame.