Self-forgiveness in romantic relationships: it matters to both of us

This study investigates self-forgiveness for real hurts committed against the partner in a romantic relationship (N = 168 couples). Using a dyadic perspective, we evaluated whether offender self-forgiveness, conceived as a bidimensional construct distinct from self-excusing, was uniquely related to both own and partner relationship satisfaction. For both males and females, offending partners were more satisfied with their romantic relationship to the extent that they had more positive and less negative sentiment and thoughts toward themselves, whereas victimized partners were more satisfied with the relationship when the offending partner had less negative sentiment and thoughts (but not more positive ones) toward himself/herself. The implications of these findings for understanding self-forgiveness and its pro-relationship effects in romantic couples are discussed.