Diminishing self-disclosure to maintain security in partners' care

Area of Science:

• Social Psychology
• Relationship Science
• Attachment Theory

Background:

• Self-disclosure is often linked to relationship benefits.
• However, the accuracy of perceived self-disclosure can be influenced by relationship security and partner responsiveness.

Purpose of the Study:

• To investigate how the desire to bond influences the perception and reporting of self-disclosure.
• To examine whether perceived self-disclosure is distorted to maintain security in relationships, particularly when partners are unresponsive.

Main Methods:

• Six studies were conducted, employing hypothetical scenarios, actual relationship reports, daily diaries, and behavioral observations.
• Experimental manipulations were used to test the motivational basis of perceived self-disclosure.

Main Results:

• Perceivers valuing relationships reported high global self-disclosure but low disclosure of needs/desires when partners were unresponsive.
• Perceptions of self-disclosure were partly illusory, being higher when partners were responsive and lower when unresponsive.
• Perceived low self-disclosure in unresponsive situations decreased the perceived diagnosticity of partner behavior and buffered negative effects.

Conclusions:

• The desire to bond motivates individuals to misperceive their self-disclosure to preserve relationship security.
• Downplaying self-disclosure in response to partner unresponsiveness serves to maintain trust in the partner's care and commitment.