Congruence between spouses' perceptions and observers' ratings of responsiveness: the role of attachment avoidance

Although close relationships require partners to depend on one another for mutual responsiveness, avoidantly attached individuals are especially averse to risking such dependency. The authors propose that both avoidant and non-avoidant individuals perceive signs of their own and their partners' responsiveness in ways that reflect motivated perceptions of dependency. The present research examined how the interplay between spouses' attachment avoidance and observed responsive behaviors during marital conflict shaped perceptions of their own and their partners' responsiveness. Newlywed couples attempted to resolve a relationship conflict and then reported perceptions of their own and their partners' responsiveness during the conflict. Observers also coded both partners' responsive behaviors during the conflict. Avoidant spouses perceived themselves as less responsive, especially when observers rated them as more responsive; avoidant spouses also perceived their partners as less responsive. The discussion highlights the role of attachment in understanding links between responsiveness-related perceptions and behaviors.