The art of indulging

Ingratiation refers to deliberate behaviors aimed at increasing one’s attractiveness or likability to a target person, often for strategic interpersonal or social gain. This set of impression management tactics is especially prevalent in hierarchical contexts, where influencing someone with greater power or authority can yield significant benefits. Several distinct ingratiation strategies have been identified, each leveraging psychological cues to foster favor and affiliation.Opinion...

Introspection, long upheld as a reliable route to self-knowledge, involves examining one's thoughts, emotions, and mental processes. It underpins many psychological practices, from mindfulness meditation to psychotherapy and self-help strategies. However, empirical evidence challenges the accuracy of introspection as a means of understanding oneself.Limitations of Introspective InsightSeminal work by Nisbett and Wilson demonstrated that individuals are frequently unaware of the true causes...

One influential perspective on what motivates people's behavior is detailed in Tory Higgin's self-discrepancy theory (Higgins, 1987). He proposed that people hold disagreeing internal representations of themselves that lead to different emotional states.  

Social psychologists have documented that feeling good about ourselves and maintaining positive self-esteem is a powerful motivator of human behavior (Tavris & Aronson, 2008). In the United States, members of the predominant culture typically think very highly of themselves and view themselves as good people who are above average on many desirable traits (Ehrlinger, Gilovich, & Ross, 2005). Often, our behavior, attitudes, and beliefs are affected when we experience a threat to our...

Impression management encompasses individuals' deliberate efforts to shape how others perceive them during social interactions. This behavior is often employed to conform to social norms, secure approval, or pursue specific goals. While it involves selective self-presentation, it is not necessarily deceptive; individuals frequently present authentic aspects of themselves that align with situational demands.Common strategies include:Ingratiation: where individuals use flattery or agreeableness...

People can go to great lengths to protect their self-image and present themselves in ways that they want others to see them. Sociologist Erving Goffman presented the idea that a person is like an actor on a stage. Calling his theory dramaturgy, Goffman believed that we use “impression management” to present ourselves to others as we hope to be perceived. Each situation is a new scene, and individuals perform different roles depending on who is present (Goffman, 1959). Think about...