Beyond the norm: A speculative model of self-realization

One influential perspective on what motivates people's behavior is detailed in Tory Higgin's self-discrepancy theory (Higgins, 1987). He proposed that people hold disagreeing internal representations of themselves that lead to different emotional states.  

According to Charles Cooley, we base our image on what we think other people see (Cooley 1902). We imagine how we must appear to others, then react to this speculation. We don certain clothes, prepare our hair in a particular manner, wear makeup, use cologne, and the like—all with the notion that our presentation of ourselves is going to affect how others perceive us. We expect a certain reaction, and, if lucky, we get the one we desire and feel good about it. But more than that, Cooley...

According to George Herbert Mead, as children progress beyond the game stage, they develop a more comprehensive understanding of societal rules and norms. This cognitive and social development enables them to internalize the expectations of the broader community, refining their ability to regulate behavior.Consistent participation in organized activities is crucial in helping children recognize that their actions are not isolated but contribute to a more significant, interconnected group...

Social psychologists have documented that feeling good about ourselves and maintaining positive self-esteem is a powerful motivator of human behavior (Tavris & Aronson, 2008). In the United States, members of the predominant culture typically think very highly of themselves and view themselves as good people who are above average on many desirable traits (Ehrlinger, Gilovich, & Ross, 2005). Often, our behavior, attitudes, and beliefs are affected when we experience a threat to our...

Self-discrepancy theory explains how people compare their actual self to their ideal and ought selves and how mismatches between these self-guides can lead to emotional distress. Developed by E. Tory Higgins, the theory distinguishes among three components of self-concept: the actual self, the ideal self, and the ought self. These refer respectively to how individuals perceive themselves, how they aspire to be, and how they believe they are obligated to be. Emotional well-being, self-esteem,...

The self-concept encompasses individuals' beliefs about themselves, structured through cognitive frameworks known as self-schemas. These schemas function as mental representations of specific traits or behaviors, influencing how self-relevant information is perceived, processed, and remembered. For example, individuals who are schematic for body weight are more likely to interpret routine experiences—such as dining out or shopping—through the lens of that trait. Conversely, those...