The caregiver and her friends

This article is a personal essay about the lesbian friendship networks called upon when a dyke has to take on caregiving responsibilities for her dying mother and, especially, her partner who develops dementia and dies. The primary areas of concern are how friendships form a community's ethical base, the navigation of overlapping friendship networks, the different ways women come through, and the role our institutions play in creating "friendliness." Underpinning these concerns is the way that lesbians create informal groups to investigate, inform, and affirm difficult decisions.