Being a 'good' parent: single women reflecting upon 'selfishness' and 'risk' when pursuing motherhood through sperm

Susanna Graham1

  • 1a University of Cambridge , Centre for Family Research, Free School Lane , Cambridge , United Kingdom.

Drawing upon the narratives of 23 single heterosexual women in the UK thinking about and pursuing motherhood through sperm donation, this paper explores how solo motherhood can be construed as a 'risk' to the identity of a 'good' mother. It shows how, for these women, solo motherhood was a departure from an imagined life of having a child within the context of a stable relationship and was a prospect viewed with much ambivalence and uncertainty. Choosing to become a single mother challenged their conceptualisation of a 'good' mother, someone who puts their child's interests above their own. By examining the flexible and creative ways these women navigate the field of reproductive technologies in the pursuit of motherhood, this paper explores how the women engaged in a process of 'damage limitation', becoming 'moral pioneers' of family and relatedness, as they realigned their ideals versus realities of family building and tried to make solo motherhood as 'good as it can be' for their future child.

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