Sharing Extraordinary Experiences Fosters Feelings of Closeness

Every social relationship begins somewhere. Yet, little is known about which initial encounters bring people closer. This article investigates whether feelings of closeness are shaped by the type of experience shared between two individuals. Using different procedures and stimuli, we find that one determining factor is whether unacquainted individuals initially share a relatively more ordinary or extraordinary experience: more extraordinary (vs. ordinary) experiences facilitate greater closeness between unacquainted individuals (Studies 1a-1c). We also find that this closeness-fostering effect does not occur for interactions between well-acquainted individuals (Study 2), when there is presumably little discomfort associated with the interaction. Furthermore, this effect appears to be driven by more extraordinary experiences' capacity to absorb individuals' attention (Study 3). Thus, we suggest that extraordinary experiences foster feelings of closeness because they direct unacquainted individuals' attention toward the extraordinariness of the experience and away from the discomfort of initial interactions.