From Sexual Desire Discrepancies to Desirable Sex: Creating the Optimal Connection

Beginning in 2005, our team conducted a series of studies on optimal sexual experiences. We have applied our findings to develop a group therapy intervention for couples presenting with low sexual desire/frequency and sexual desire discrepancy. The goal was to improve the quality of erotic intimacy by focusing on such elements as being fully embodied during sex, increasing authenticity, trustworthiness, and vulnerability. Twenty-eight heterosexual individuals (14 couples) were seen in 16 hours of couples group therapy. Each completed the New Sexual Satisfaction Scale in pretests, posttests and six-month follow-ups. Significant differences in satisfaction (p <.001) were found in overall sample means from pretests to posttests and follow-ups. Significant differences were also found in 10 of 20 items, plus in two of three added items, including satisfaction with intensity of sexual arousal, variety, frequency, partner's initiation, and emotional opening up. Although this is a small sample, the results indicate that this intervention is effective. We interpret these findings in terms of creating just enough safety to enable couples to take erotic risks and thereby create desirable sexual intimacy.