Beyond the Couple: A Qualitative Analysis of Successful In-law Relationships in Iran

In-laws can play a significant role in the success or failure of marriages around the world. In the Middle East, recent quantitative research indicates that having trouble with in-laws is a major predictor of divorce in Iran. To explore this further, we undertook a qualitative (grounded theory) analysis of in-depth interviews with 17 Iranian daughters-in-law, five sons-in-law, three mothers-in-law, three fathers-in-law, and three expert family clinicians. Emergent concepts, themes, and coding categories were consistent with a Family Triad Model (FTM) of successful marital and in-law relationships, wherein each spouse must (a) form we-ness with their partner, (b) establish flexible boundaries between themselves and their families of origin, and (c) join their in-laws. A higher-order core category suggested that optimal couple and family functioning depends on the coherence or balance of these functions across the triadic role components of spouse, child-in-law, and family-in-law (or family-of-origin). In the changing cultural context of Iran, where blood relations have traditionally held primacy over marital relations, such triadic coherence appears crucial to marital success, at least from the perspective of many women. Our FTM results also highlight the importance of taking in-laws into account when planning educational, preventative, or clinical interventions.