"I Desire to Suffer, Lord, because Thou didst Suffer": Teresa of Avila on Suffering

Teresa of Avila's desire for suffering cannot be interpreted as the mere passive assumption of a feminine sacrificial role. On the contrary, Teresa was able to transform her suffering into the incarnated performance of her relationship with God: By desiring suffering and by understanding it and her ability to confront it as proof of divine love, she was able to reinforce her self-confidence and strength. This article discusses Teresa of Avila's experience and interpretation of suffering in the context of the female ascetic-mystic Christian tradition. It criticizes Teresa's positive conceptualization of suffering but examines in depth the potential of her ability to actively manage and control it. Although Teresa was able to affirm her personality through ascetic practices such as self-humiliation and mortification, the general applicability of such practices to the management of suffering is fraught since they leave the suffering individual in a vulnerable position. Although Teresa of Avila finds fulfillment and, paradoxically, self-actualization through self-denial and the surrender of her will, such practices entail the substantial risk of total self-annihilation.