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What Children Wished They Had/Had Not Done and Their Coping in the First Thirteen Months after Their Sibling's
JoAnne M Youngblut1, Dorothy Brooten1
1Nicole Wertheim College of Nursing and Health Sciences, Florida International University, Miami, Florida, USA.
Insights
Children wished they had spent more time with siblings and not been mean. Coping strategies included talking to others and resuming normal activities after a sibling's death.
Area of Science:
- Child Psychology
- Bereavement Studies
- Pediatric Critical Care
Background:
- Limited research exists on children's post-sibling death regrets.
- Understanding children's wishes and coping mechanisms is crucial for support.
Purpose of the Study:
- To examine children's wishes regarding actions before and after a sibling's death.
- To explore children's coping strategies following a sibling's death in NICU/PICU/ED settings.
Main Methods:
- Qualitative data from a longitudinal mixed-methods study.
- Interviews with 6- to 18-year-olds at multiple time points post-death.
- Conventional content analysis of responses to open-ended questions.
Main Results:
- Children wished for more time with siblings, more positive interactions, and to have saved them.
- Regrets included being mean, arguing, and suppressing emotions.
- Coping involved talking, playing, remembering, crying, and resuming activities.
Conclusions:
- Children express significant wishes about their interactions and actions concerning deceased siblings.
- Talking to others and returning to routine activities are key coping mechanisms for bereaved children.
Abstract:
Research on what children wished they had done differently after their sibling's death has not been reported. Examine what children wished they had/had not done, and their coping after a sibling's neonatal/pediatric intensive care unit/emergency department (NICU/PICU/ED) death. Qualitative data are part of a longitudinal mixed methods study of 6- to 18-year-olds interviewed at 2, 4, 6, and 13 months after a sibling's death. Ninety-five school-aged children and 37 adolescents (58% female; 30% Hispanic, 50% black, 20% white). Children responded to three open-ended questions: Thinking about your sibling's death, are there things you wish you (1) had done? (2) had not done? (3) What do you do to deal with your sibling's death? Conventional content analysis procedures were used. Children wished they had spent more time, talked and played more with their sibling, saved their sibling, taken care of their sibling more, and been able to see their sibling grow up. They wished they had not been mean/yelled at their sibling, complained/argued with mother about their sibling, and kept their feelings inside. Children coped by talking with family, friends, and the deceased; playing, reading, watching TV; avoiding thoughts about and remembering their sibling; crying, keeping calm, praying; living for their sibling. Resuming their usual activities, trying to be happy, and laughing also helped children cope. Children commented more about what they wish they had done (n = 317) and less about what they wish they had not done (n = 107). Children talked to others and tried resuming usual activities to cope.
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