Not meeting our goals and a path to redemption

One influential perspective on what motivates people's behavior is detailed in Tory Higgin's self-discrepancy theory (Higgins, 1987). He proposed that people hold disagreeing internal representations of themselves that lead to different emotional states.  

The dissolution of intimate relationships presents complex emotional and psychological challenges, particularly when emotional bonds are strong, the relationship is long-standing, and perceived alternatives are limited. This distress often intensifies in romantic breakups, where the initiator may experience greater turmoil than the rejected partner. Contributing factors include residual attachment, guilt over causing pain, and uncertainty about how to manage the situation. The stress is further...

People can go to great lengths to protect their self-image and present themselves in ways that they want others to see them. Sociologist Erving Goffman presented the idea that a person is like an actor on a stage. Calling his theory dramaturgy, Goffman believed that we use “impression management” to present ourselves to others as we hope to be perceived. Each situation is a new scene, and individuals perform different roles depending on who is present (Goffman, 1959). Think about...

Self-discrepancy theory explains how people compare their actual self to their ideal and ought selves and how mismatches between these self-guides can lead to emotional distress. Developed by E. Tory Higgins, the theory distinguishes among three components of self-concept: the actual self, the ideal self, and the ought self. These refer respectively to how individuals perceive themselves, how they aspire to be, and how they believe they are obligated to be. Emotional well-being, self-esteem,...

Erik Erikson's theory of psychosocial development outlines a series of stages through which individuals progress across the lifespan. Each stage involves a psychosocial conflict that significantly influences personal growth and well-being. Three key stages — intimacy versus isolation, generativity versus stagnation, and integrity versus despair — highlight the developmental challenges faced in adulthood.
Intimacy Versus Isolation in Early Adulthood
Individuals in early...

Avoidance-avoidance conflict refers to a psychological situation where a person must choose between two or more unpleasant alternatives. These conflicts are particularly stressful because neither option is desirable. This dilemma is often expressed in sayings like "caught between a rock and a hard place" or "between the devil and the deep blue sea." For instance, individuals who fear dental procedures may find themselves torn between enduring a painful toothache or facing the...