Echopoetics and unbelonging: Making sense of reconciliation in academia

This article is a narrative and conceptual exploration of the journey towards practicing Indigenous allyship in an academic context. I begin by tracing a trajectory of coming to work with Indigenous peoples as a non-Indigenous, multiple migrant, and queer person of color situated as a therapist and educator in a Canadian academic institution's Faculty of Medicine and Health Sciences. Anti-racist and de/postcolonial theories and concepts abound to label my experiences of tokenization, yet they invariably fall short of the nuanced and complex ways that both reconciliation and oppression unfold in the everyday. Beyond critical theories that speak with certainty of structural violence, I trace my trajectory of coming to understand my work with Indigenous peoples within and for healthcare curricula and community development. I describe an intertextual practice of echopoetics that is trying to make sense of a world where both historical trauma and daily aggressions continually reproduce inequities, in order to reveal spaces of possible hope and healing. Yet, what seems to be happening in this echopoetics is a process of unbelonging from the multiple cultural and institutional narratives in my surround-at times including those that intend to liberate. Focusing on the negation-"non"-as a non-Indigenous/non-White person, I provide a reflection on how this practice cultivates an unbelonging that becomes both a political stance at the point of invisibility, as well as a lonely yet definite healing.