Chemistry or Service? Sugar Daddies' (Re)quest for Mutuality within the Confines of Commercial Exchange

With the emergence and global proliferation of "sugar dating" websites, the phenomenon of sugar dating is gaining increased attention. Sugar dating is described by these websites as arrangements based on an exchange of financial or other forms of support for intimacy and companionship. The framing of sugar dating as something in between a business transaction and mutually enjoyable dating serves as the point of departure of this article, which draws on semi-structured interviews and a survey questionnaire with "sugar daddies" engaged in heterosexual sugar dating in Sweden. We examined how the tension between economic instrumentality and the ideal of mutual enjoyment is played out in "sugar daddies'" accounts of their sugar dating experiences. We demonstrate that the participants desire encounters with "sugar babies" to be based on both sexual and relational mutuality, i.e., they want the women to enjoy being with them beyond the economic rewards. We show that the men's use of economic incentives to gain access to "sugar babies" stands in a relationship of tension with their desire for interactions to be based on mutuality. However, through various mechanisms they still manage to reap the fruits of the experience of mutuality offered in sugar dating encounters.