Couple relational ethics: From theory to lived practice

Distressed couples often become polarized and caught up in power struggles, with competing claims and perspectives. When escalated, partners may become reactive and unkind. The competitive-individualistic worldview of the Euro-American culture feeds polarization between partners. This article explores relational views of the self and relational ethics developed in philosophy, psychology, feminist theory, neurobiology, and couple and family therapy that counter this individualistic view. A major focus is on the ways in which partners impact each other's identity and well-being for better or worse, and the ethical responsibility this entails. The discussion addresses couple relational ethics within the larger sociocultural context that privileges power and competition. The paper offers applications to couple relationships and couple therapy, with interventions to promote mutual responsibility, fairness, dialogue, and care-helping partners to identify their higher values and interact with greater intentionality. A case example is offered to illustrate therapeutic techniques to enhance relational ethics in couples.