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Seeking connection can trigger shame loops in couples: An attachment-based understanding.
Gianina Frediani1, Lieven Migerode2
1Faculty of Psychology and Educational Sciences, KU Leuven, Leuven, Belgium.
Family Process
|April 24, 2023
Summary
Shame can create negative loops in relationships, even when partners seek connection. Attachment theory explains how these shame cycles occur and how therapists can help couples navigate them.
Area of Science:
- Psychology
- Relationship Science
- Clinical Psychology
Background:
- Shame negatively impacts intimate relationships, fostering detrimental shame loops between partners.
- Attachment theory provides a framework for understanding interpersonal dynamics and emotional regulation.
Observation:
- Shame loops can be triggered by negative cues like criticism.
- Unexpectedly, shame can also arise from attempts at connection or comfort between partners.
- Therapists may inadvertently trigger or exacerbate client shame.
Findings:
- Attachment theory illuminates how seemingly benign interactions can activate shame cycles in couples.
- Understanding these triggers is crucial for addressing relationship distress.
Implications:
- Therapeutic interventions can be tailored to address the paradoxical nature of shame in couple therapy.
- Clinicians can better manage shame triggers, promoting healthier relationship dynamics.
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