The incurable self: Negotiating social bonds and dis/connection with metastatic breast cancer

As the culture of silence that once surrounded cancer has gradually given way to greater public awareness, normative visions of what cancer survivorship should entail have proliferated. These visions emphasise positivity and perseverance in pursuit of cure. While these visions provide comfort to many, for people with metastatic cancer, the emphasis on cure can undermine their sense of belonging to the broader collective of people living with cancer. Drawing on semi-structured interviews with 38 Australian women living with metastatic breast cancer, we explore how incurable cancer inflects understandings of self and transforms interpersonal relationships. Extending ideas around biosociality and belonging, we explore the tenuousness of social bonds, revealing how (in)visibility, (in)authenticity and (in)validation circulate within the daily lives of women with metastatic breast cancer. We conceptualise accounts according to four social bonds: (1) threatened bonds where a relationship is strained by misunderstanding, (2) severed bonds where a relationship is ruptured due to misunderstanding, (3) attuned bonds whereby a relationship is based on shared identification and (4) flexible social bonds when a relationship is based on mutual understanding. More broadly, we illustrate the persistence of normative visions of cancer survivorship and their enduring effects on those whom such visions exclude.