"Their Happiness, Not Neurotypical Success": Autistic Adults Reflect on the Parenting of Autistic Children

Parenting has implications for psychosocial adjustment well into adulthood. While much is known about the parenting behaviors that influence adjustment in autistic children, little is known about how the effects of parenting persist in autistic adults. Further, autistic adults' perspectives on how they were parented have not been investigated to date. This study aimed to examine autistic adults' perspectives on their experiences of being parented in childhood and the advice they would like to offer to parents of autistic children in the context of their lived experience.

Ninety-six Australian autistic adults responded to open-ended questions in a larger survey assessing childhood experiences of being parented, adult attachment, psychological flexibility, and adult adjustment.

A total of 10 themes were identified. Autistic adults emphasized the importance of embracing early diagnosis and that the goal of parents should be their child's happiness rather than "neurotypical" success. They highlighted the importance of unconditional love and understanding of their autistic child, recognizing that autistic children have similar fundamental needs as other children. Participants discussed the importance of structure and predictability in the home to feelings of safety. Parents were encouraged to meet them halfway. Finally, autistic adults reflected on the role of parents in advocacy and parental well-being. Parental neurodivergence was discussed as a possible bane or boon.

Autistic adults emphasized the importance of unconditional acceptance from their parents, with the goal being their child's happiness. Findings from this study will inform future programs for families of autistic children.