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Love me, because I rely on you: Dependency-oriented help-seeking as a strategy for human mating
Fei Teng1, Xijing Wang2, Qiao Lei1
1Center for Studies of Psychological Application, Guangdong Key Laboratory of Mental Health and Cognitive Science, Base of Psychological Services and Counseling for "Happiness" in Guangzhou, School of Psychology, South China Normal University.
None:
Existing research has suggested a predominantly negative view of dependency-oriented help. In contrast, the current research aims to test the positive function of dependency-oriented help in intimate relationships where interpersonal dependency is valued. We hypothesized that dependency-oriented help-seeking could function in communicating liking and romantic interests and, therefore, can be instrumental in attracting mates. Our hypothesis was confirmed across nine studies (N = 2,535). For help-seekers, a mate-seeking motivation could positively predict (Study 1) and lead to (Studies 2A-4) dependency-oriented help-seeking behavior tendencies (Studies 1-2B) and actual behavior (Studies 3 and 4). For help-providers, after activating a mating goal, imagining (Studies 5A and 5B) and actually receiving (Study 6) dependency-oriented (vs. autonomy-oriented) help-seeking requests from a potential mate increased help-providers' romantic interests in that mate. Study 7 further showed the function of dependency-oriented help from the perspective of romantic competitors. As such, people in romantic relationships were more likely to see a potential competitor as a mate poacher when this person asked for dependency-oriented help from their partner. Theoretical and practical implications have been discussed. (PsycInfo Database Record (c) 2024 APA, all rights reserved).
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