Selected for Solitude: A Case Report of Loneliness

The U.S. Surgeon General, Vivek Murthy, recently declared loneliness a public health epidemic. For therapists, that is not likely to be a surprise: Loneliness is so common in people who seek therapy that it might be seen as the bread and butter of our work. Despite that, there has not been much serious examination of intrapsychic factors that may contribute to this painful condition. Public discourse has focused instead on cultural and societal causes of loneliness, and on practical steps that might be taken to decrease it. But practical advice is not always sufficient for people with longstanding loneliness. Longstanding loneliness may be fueled by intrapsychic dynamics and become embedded in character. In some cases, patients may relish companionship yet steadfastly avoid it in an attempt to master early childhood experiences of being emotionally neglected and deprived of love. They were starved of love as children and now choose to starve themselves in an unconscious attempt to master early deprivation by identifying with the aggressor. For patients like this, chronic loneliness may signal a certain kind of attachment disorder, for it is the visible sign of early attachment to a distant or rejecting parental figure. Loneliness of that kind can be a stubborn problem and one that poses a considerable therapeutic challenge.