"It's my pain": Educators' Identity (Re) Construction Through Work with Student Child Sexual Abuse Survivors

As frontline figures in the identification of and intervention in child sexual abuse (CSA), educators' personal histories influence how they enact this role and respond to student disclosures. Despite the extensive study of CSA and scholarship regarding the role of educators' life histories, research exploring the experiences of educators who have themselves undergone CSA is absent. The current study seeks to reveal an insider view of K-12 educators from diverse socio-cultural groups residing in Israel who are CSA survivors, examining the meanings they attribute to their experiences while contending with the CSA cases of their students. Each of the 12 educators participated in three interviews for a total of 36 semi-structured life-narrative interviews. Upon employing a qualitative constructivist paradigm, three themes emerged from analysis of the educators' narratives, describing a process of identity reconstruction: (a) navigating between identities rooted in CSA trauma and professional life; (b) healing through educational work with student CSA survivors; and (c) identity transformation, from CSA survivor to child advocate. This represents a departure from previous research in which educators feel altered, isolated, and overwhelmed by professional encounters with CSA. Instead, the study participants portrayed a hybrid position of simultaneous vulnerability and resilience, as experiences of painful identification and re-traumatization were intertwined with their reforged identity as student protectors and a realistic understanding of this role and their own capabilities. The findings highlight the importance of accounting for educators' experiences of CSA as formative narratives that mold their educational work and goals, as well as the role of the student-educator interactions in the processes of healing and resilience construction, not only for students but also for educators.