Trait responses after interpersonal offending: A dyadic examination of effects on romantic relationship quality

As with all types of relationships, romantic relationships will involve at least occasional instances of interpersonal harm. When one partner commits a transgression against the other, how they respond next may influence whether the situation resolves or escalates. Research has identified three main response patterns to interpersonal transgressions-self-forgiveness, self-exoneration, and self-condemnation-each with potential relationship consequences that may either support or hinder the relationship. We examined these three response tendencies with romantic partners to understand their dyadic effect on relationship quality. In our sample of 216 adults in 108 heterosexual romantic relationships of at least 1 year, we found actor and partner effects for both trait self-forgiveness and trait self-exoneration. One partner's level of trait self-forgiveness positively predicted both their own and their partner's relationship quality, and the level of trait self-exoneration negatively predicted both their own and their partner's relationship quality. Self-condemnation was not a significant predictor in our model. We did not find any sex differences in our models. We discuss the implications of these findings for couples counseling and other contexts. We also discuss the potentially complicated nature of self-condemnation in relationship functioning, addressing ways it could both help and hinder some aspects of the relationship. Overall, this study highlights the potential benefits of promoting self-forgiveness and reducing self-exoneration tendencies on relationship quality for both partners in romantic relationships where one partner has transgressed. (PsycInfo Database Record (c) 2026 APA, all rights reserved).