"It's Just a Dog, Get over It": Memorable Messages and Support Misalignment in Pet Bereavement

Although the death of a pet can cause significant emotional distress, there is limited systematic understanding of the types of messages pet owners receive during bereavement and the forms of support they find meaningful or expect. Based on in-depth interviews with 32 bereaved pet owners in China, this study identified four main types of memorable messages: emotional support, rational advice, denial and dismissal, and silence and avoidance. However, participants expressed a stronger desire for messages characterized by respect and empathy, shared memories, in-person companionship, and physical contact. The study further reveals that many well-intentioned messages triggered negative emotional responses due to misalignment with the recipients' emotional states and actual needs. To explain this, this study proposes the concept of "support misalignment," which highlights how discrepancies between message content, delivery method, and psychological context can undermine or even reverse the intended supportive effects. This study not only deepens theoretical understanding of the pet bereavement experience but also offers practical insights for designing emotionally attuned support strategies in the future.