Writing neglect, rewriting self: Handwritten diaries with adults who lived youth addiction

Youth addiction often unfolds within landscapes of neglect, yet adult accounts of these histories are commonly gathered through one-off interviews or clinical assessments. This study examined how adults in stable recovery narrate adolescent alcohol and other drug use and associated neglect through handwritten diary-style writing, and what such writing contributes methodologically to qualitative inquiry across time.

This paper reports a secondary analysis of community-generated qualitative materials produced through the SIDINL peer-support and mental health recovery network. The available corpus comprised n = 14 handwritten diary-style texts and then participants took part in a participant-led co-reading conversation. Four cases (n = 4) were selected for in-depth vignette-based analysis based on explicit consent for secondary analysis and quotation, sufficient narrative density/legibility of written material, completion of co-reading discussion, and feasibility of de-identification. Data were analyzed using case-centered narrative summaries and reflexive thematic analysis, attending to both content and material features of handwriting.

The analysis foregrounded three recurring patterns. (1) "No one was watching": participants described moving through unsupervised spaces where adults were absent or silent; substance use was framed as both relief and proof of invisibility, and neglect appeared as both wound and perceived freedom from scrutiny. (2) "My body on the page": writers portrayed the body as a site of self-neglect and communication, describing hunger, injury, dirt, ignored symptoms, and hygiene or clothing as shields that kept others away or signaled distress that others did not read. (3) "Writing from after": letter and then/now formats staged dialogue between youth and adult selves, redistributing responsibility for neglect across families, institutions, and self while also acknowledging harms caused during use.

Handwritten diary-style writing, paired with participant-led co-reading, generated temporally layered narratives of youth addiction and neglect that extend beyond single interview recall. The approach positions writing as an active practice of identity reconstruction in recovery and offers a practical method for qualitative substance-use research where control over disclosure and careful attention to shame, stigma, and omission of care are essential.