"I have lived proudly as myself": A Japanese woman's narrative of her life and aging

This longitudinal qualitative study, encompassing nearly three decades, evolved from interviews with the "Suzuki" couple conducted for my PhD thesis in the period 1992-1997. Following Mr. Suzuki's death in1997, the aim was to follow turning points and crises in Ms. Suzuki's life and show how she handled them in relation to how she wanted to live her life as an aging (widowed) woman in the Japanese society in transition. The empirical material consists of written notes from our conversations. The findings are described as a 'field note narrative'. The analysis of the ongoing process of life storytelling, in which past, present and future were intertwined, was guided by narrative gerontology and autoethnography, as I was a co-creator of her story. The narrative is sorted into three chronological phases: 1) Mr. Suzuki dies; Ms. Suzuki lives alone, actively maintaining her way of life. 2) Continuation of Ms. Suzuki's lifestyle, with signs of forgetfulness. 3) Ms. Suzuki visits a 'day service' regularly, finally moving to a care home, where she dies in 2021. The story of Ms. Suzuki, who is an active agent in how she presents and positions herself, is discussed in terms of narrative learning and integrative life storytelling. Through her long-term narrative process, the unique dynamics of an aging woman emerge - one who, respectfully supported by her children, boldly pursues individual choices, learning and meaning-making, even when dementia becomes evident.