Death, bereavement and grief 'etiquette': Exploring remembrance and values

Death, bereavement, and grief "etiquette" describes a felt-sense of "right," "wrong," "appropriate," "inappropriate," "should" and "must" in death and bereavement contexts. Etiquette was explored qualitatively through eleven semi-structured interviews with reflexive thematic analysis used to answer the question: Where does etiquette arise in death and bereavement contexts, and what does this "look like"? All but one participant were bereaved individuals recruited via gatekeeper organizations. Etiquette arose in how individuals remembered their loved ones (funerals, talking about the deceased) and in spaces of remembrance (e.g., Facebook, gravesites). Findings offer psychotherapeutic practitioners common points of reference to help resolve conflict between clients with opposing etiquettes as well as specific re-frames to enable wider grief expression and practices. Etiquette is a useful theoretical concept for both professionals and the public, the knowledge of which bolsters wider initiatives to build grief literacy and compassionate communities.