"Family is a really complicated word for me": Adopted adults reflect on adoptive family distancing

Adoption promises the adopted person a forever family, but research suggests that family distancing is more common among adoptive families than biological families (Hartnett et al., 2018). Despite these findings, adoption studies largely overlook family distancing. Therefore, we integrate the family distancing literature from communication studies and family studies with a critical adoption studies lens to explore how adopted individuals experience family distancing from their adoptive parents. For the present study we used semistructured focus group interviews to capture how adopted individuals experience family distancing. We conducted seven focus groups comprising adopted individuals (n = 49) from a variety of adoption backgrounds (e.g., domestic and international adoption, same-race and transracial adoption, and majority located in the United States). We analyzed the data using codebook-style thematic analysis (Braun & Clarke, 2021) and developed six themes that capture how adopted individuals understand family distancing, reflect on the precursors to family distancing, and experience living with family distancing: (a) family distancing as communication, (b) contested family narratives, (c) reassessment and reevaluation of relationships, (d) fractures in the forever family, (e) wrestling with distance, and (f) building a life with familial distance. Together, these findings emphasize the complexity and nuance in how adopted individuals engage in family distancing, come to the decision to distance, and experience life with familial distance. This research suggests that researchers, clinicians, and policy makers need to contend with personal and societal expectations related to family distancing and adoption. (PsycInfo Database Record (c) 2026 APA, all rights reserved).