Concerning remorse: with special attention to its defensive function

Remorse involves a sense of guilty and shameful condemnation having sources in both the Self and Other. In addition to providing punishment for real or imagined wrongdoing, remorse may function to preserve a relationship with the harmed Other, who is kept alive and intact as an internalized judge. As painful as the feelings of remorse are, they may be sought or clung to as a defense against having to give up the Other, who, via incorporative processes, may be unconsciously experienced as part of the self. Painful memories and affects may serve to ward off the feelings of abject emptiness that would otherwise be experienced, especially with persons whose sense of self is highly dependent on a stable relationship with an Other. After a brief review of the etymology of the term "remorse" ("to bite again") and some of its cultural manifestations, the defensive, relationship-maintaining function of remorse was further illustrated with a case vignette.