Observations on changing relationships for older married women

Among the social and demographic changes of the twentieth century, the spectacular increase in longevity has had a profound impact on the marriages of older people, and particularly on the experiences and responsibilities of women. The later decades of marriage, like the earlier ones, are marked by life events which result in specific developmental tasks. Although there is individual variation in the ages at which these events occur, a typical pattern is that in their fifties a couple enters the postparental years of marriage; in their sixties they anticipate and deal with retirement; and in their seventies they are likely to be faced with the prospect of separation through the death of one of them. Because of the difference in life expectancy, it is generally the women who must contend with widowhood and build a new postmarital lifestyle. Each decade is also characterized by one or more triads: husband, wife, and married child(ren); husband, wife, and aging parents; and elderly widow, son or daughter, and his/her family. The elderly widow looks to her children--particularly her daughters--for the emotional and practical support she once provided, while the children become sandwiched between the needs of their own children and those of the aged parent. The later decades of marriage thus demonstrate a further permutation and combination of the triads that characterize human development throughout the life cycle--the engagement, disengagement, and reengagement of children and parents.