Individual differences in the coming out process for gay men: implications for theoretical models

One hundred ninety-nine self-defined homosexual males were asked about the ages at which milestone events occurred in the coming out process (i.e., initial awareness of same-sex attractions, same-sex acts, self-designation as homosexual, initial involvement in a long-term relationship, self-disclosures to significant others, and acquiring a positive gay identity). Overall findings indicated that an orderly developmental sequence underlies the coming out process; however, not all subjects progressed in a predictable fashion from an awareness of same-sex feelings through behavior to eventual self-labelling, self-disclosure, and final stabilization of a positive gay identity. A number of individual differences emerged: 18% of the sample labelled themselves "homosexual" in the absence of any overt same-sex sexual experience; 22% arrived at homosexual self-definitions while participating in a long-term relationship with another man; 23% adopted homosexual self-definitions only after involvement in such a relationship. Fifteen percent of the respondents indicated that they had not acquired a positive gay identity (i.e., were not glad to be gay). These individuals differed from the remainder of the sample on a number of significant measures reflective of psychological health. Significant differences were also found among three cohort groups with respect to age at occurrence of particular milestone events. Findings from the present investigation were explored in relation to both the theoretical conceptions and available empirical data concerned with homosexual identity formation.