A death in the life of a therapist and its impact on the therapy

Several years ago, each of the authors experienced the death of a close family member. In the months after our return to work, we found ourselves discussing with each other our losses, the process of mourning, our families, and gradually, our patients. We became aware that we both were struggling privately with the problem of being a therapist in the wake of a deep personal loss. We began to discuss our cases in greater detail with each other, reviewed the literature pertinent to upheaval in the lives of therapists, and spoke with colleagues who had also experienced the death of a loved one. This paper explores the problems and opportunities that may arise in this common clinical situation. Our principal finding is that the interaction between patient and therapist often repeats an earlier trauma for the patient in which the therapist unwittingly reenacts a pathogenic parental response. The therapist should be sensitive to this possibility and attempt to deal with the problem interpretively. Rather than focusing on whether or not to reveal his or her loss to the patient, the therapist should address the broader issue of the meaning that revealing or not revealing will have for the patient. Overall, we hope to further the dialogue about the impact of a therapist's loss on the patient.