Symptom bearer as marital distance regulator: clinical implications

Certain families experience conflict in regulating their interpersonal distance because they are afraid of separation and intimacy. A couple that lives in the shadow of this double-ended catastrophe may triangle in a "go-between" to bring them together if they get too far apart, or separate them when they are too close. Ambivalence about the couple's relationship predisposes a family member, often an in-law or child, to be recruited to this role. The "go-between" ambivalence then becomes the couple's homeostat, and symptoms are likely to appear in this individual. Implications for family therapy are illustrated through a full-length case study.